Cause SIMM suggested it
OK, I had surgery. SIMM sent me a list of crap I should do while I recover. One of them is writing down how I feel. I’m on pain meds so my writing is going to be short, choppy & ADD.
I’m not supposed to do a bunch of physical stuff. No running, no lifting, no yoga, can’t keep house, no yard work, can’t do much of jack squat. I’m supposed to sit. Sleep. Sit. Walk around a little. Sit some more. Sleep.
It’s boring. I hate it. It’s summer. It’s beautiful outside. I want to be playing & sweating & having fun. This is me whining. I take the meds & I either knock out or, if I make myself stay awake on them, I get emotional & stuff. I hate that, also. I am a believer in mind/body being in sync in order to be on my game. This ain’t happenin. I hate that, too. For a relatively positive person, I hate a lot of stuff right now!!
I have good friends who are putting up with my crap. Good family who do the same. A great boyfriend who does the same. OK, that’s some positive stuff, lol!
But I still miss beast mode. I think this is the universe’s way of forcing me to slow down & contemplate stuff & think & all that. I’ll give myself three more days of this garbage. That’s all. I know for a fact that the human body can be pushed well beyond the limits our minds place on it. It’s all about attitude. This makes no sense. I’m rambling. Are you happy now, SIMM??
I’m going to force myself to sit zazen. That should be interesting considering I haven’t done it in many weeks. LA is coming to entertain me. I’m gonna be a tough crowd–but I think she can do it! 
